By Yevgen Fromer – Editor, Real Divorce Stories
Caught in the conflict: When courts overlook alienation, children suffer the consequences.
Broken Justice and the Anatomy of a Silent Crisis
The term “Broken Justice” isn’t just rhetorical. It encapsulates the painful reality experienced by thousands of families entangled in America’s dysfunctional family court system. In this fourth part of our ongoing editorial series, we examine how courts—through ignorance, inertia, or implicit bias—allow parental alienation to take root, severing bonds between children and loving parents.
Previous articles in this series have covered systemic court failures, including:
- Part 1: The Hidden Machinery of Family Courts
- Part 2: Judicial Misconduct and Political Influence
- Part 3: ACS Failures and Fatal Consequences
- Part 5: Parental Alienation and Weaponized Custody
This part focuses on a crisis that’s less visible, but no less devastating: children being psychologically manipulated to reject a parent—sometimes forever—and the courts that enable it.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation refers to a psychological process in which one parent deliberately undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. While the term originated in the 1980s, its core behaviors—badmouthing, gaslighting, obstruction of visitation—are as old as family conflict itself.
According to the Parental Alienation Study Group (PASG), common alienating behaviors include:
- Excessive denigration of the other parent
- Blocking contact or communication
- Creating false narratives of abuse
- Encouraging the child to reject the other parent
- Withholding affection unless the child complies
The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) notes that parental alienation is often misunderstood by judges and poorly handled by untrained evaluators.
Real Lives, Real Damage
Case Study: Jennifer, Missouri
Jennifer was a full-time mother to her 9-year-old son until her ex-husband won temporary custody. Within months, her son refused to speak to her, echoing phrases only an adult would use. “He told the judge I was ‘manipulative and unstable.’ He was quoting his father.” Despite her requests for a psychological evaluation, the judge said he wouldn’t “force a child to have a relationship.”
Case Study: Marcus, New York
A decorated Air Force veteran, Marcus was cut off from his daughters after his ex accused him of emotional abuse. The claims were dismissed, but the court never restored contact. “The damage was done,” Marcus said. “They believed her. Now I’m just a memory they’re told to hate.”
These aren’t isolated cases. A 2022 study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that 13.4% of parents involved in custody litigation reported alienation behaviors consistent with psychological manipulation.
The Court’s Role in Enabling Estrangement
Many courts treat alienation as a minor parenting dispute or “custody drama,” even when evidence shows coercive control. Judges often lean on the child’s stated preference—even if that preference has been shaped through fear, loyalty conflict, or reward systems.
Worse still, many family courts do not enforce parenting time orders. According to a 2023 report from Children’s Rights Council, less than 15% of documented violations result in any legal consequence.
Quote: “The court said my daughter was old enough to decide. She was 10. What she really wanted was to not lose her mother’s love.” — Chris G., alienated father
The Illusion of Reunification Therapy
Courts often respond by recommending reunification therapy, but they rarely fund or enforce it. Therapists drop cases when one parent refuses participation. Children are brought in angry or withdrawn, and the therapist—often not trained in alienation—misinterprets resistance as trauma instead of manipulation.
Example: In California, reunification therapy was court-ordered for a mother whose son was refusing visits. The father never showed up. The court did nothing. The case was closed as “unresolved.”
According to Dr. Amy J. L. Baker, a leading expert on alienation, therapy only works when courts back it with swift enforcement—and when therapists understand the unique dynamics of alienation cases.
The Financial Cost of Parental Erasure
The emotional trauma of alienation is compounded by the financial burden. Targeted parents pay for evaluations, legal fees, supervised visits, and therapy—while their alienating counterpart violates orders with impunity.
Lisa M., Oregon: “I spent $74,000 fighting just to see my child. My ex ignored court dates, withheld visitation, and fabricated claims. The judge said, ‘You need to work it out peacefully.’ Peace with a manipulator is just surrender.”
This cost isn’t just monetary. It’s psychological. Alienated parents often experience depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation. Their pain is invisible, minimized, and treated like emotional collateral damage.
Systemic Gaps: Why Courts Fail to Act
There’s no federal standard for handling parental alienation. Most judges lack formal training in psychological abuse or trauma bonding. Evaluators vary widely in competence. Legal systems are adversarial by design—alienation exploits this, turning a child into the ultimate bargaining chip.
Advocacy groups like Family Access – Fighting for Children’s Rights are pushing for legislation that mandates enforcement of parenting time, creates consequences for false allegations, and funds family court training programs. But progress is painfully slow.
What Needs to Change?
- Judicial Training: Require mandatory training on coercive control and alienation
- Enforce Orders: Sanction parents who violate parenting time
- Fund Therapy: Provide access to specialized, court-approved reunification therapists
- Independent Oversight: Establish ombudsman programs for contested custody cases
- Track Data: Require states to report alienation-related outcomes and order violations
Hope and Resistance
Despite the dysfunction, many parents refuse to give up. They form support groups, advocate for reform, and use social media to tell their stories. Sites like Real Divorce Stories and others document the lived experience of alienation—fighting back with facts and visibility.
Quote: “I won’t be erased. I write letters. I record birthday videos. I stay alive so that one day, my daughter can find me and know the truth.” — Anonymous mother, Texas
This Is Broken Justice
Parental alienation is not rare. It is not anecdotal. It is a weaponized form of emotional abuse enabled by courts that fear complexity and favor expediency. Until that changes, children will continue to lose loving parents—not to death, but to silence. That is the definition of broken justice.
If the court can’t protect the child’s right to love both parents, then the court has failed its most sacred duty.