Going through heartbreak is one of life’s toughest challenges (besides paying bills, obviously).
No matter how it happened, surviving it is no easy feat.
When you get your heart broken, you’re immediately ripped from the fairytale-like world of coupledom, and you’re forced to deal with things alone. More than that, the rejection makes all your deepest and darkest insecurities come alive.
But despite all these, people get over heartbreak.
And so will you.
If you don’t know where to start or what to do, we’ve compiled these scientifically-proven ways to help you mend your broken heart.
Print it out, bookmark it, or pin it. Just make sure you have it on hand when you need it.
10 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart
Ready to heal your heart? Keep on reading.
1. Discover your pre-breakup self
In a study done by Dr. Gary Lewandowski, Jr., professor of psychology at Monmouth University, which he shared in his TED Talk, he stated that remembering how you were before your relationship can help you gain back the identity that you have forgotten when you became committed to someone.
When you’re with someone, you tend to abandon some parts of yourself. Eventually, you start believing that you’re incomplete when you’re on your own.
You forget who you are – who you truly are. But getting back the lost parts of yourself is possible.
Take this as an opportunity to revisit the activities, dreams, and hopes you had when you were still single.
Challenge yourself. Put yourself out there. Try out some new things.
Perhaps you enjoyed going to the gym, cooking, or designing clothes. Whatever you were drawn to, go for it.
If you’re not sure what you currently want, then try several things out until you get a clear idea of what you’re interested in.
Building your identity back will definitely help you feel back at home in your skin. More importantly, it will inspire you to cherish yourself.
2. Remember the negatives about your relationship
It’s easy to fool yourself that your relationship was perfect before it ended. After all, people feel extremely sentimental when dealing with heartbreak.
However, having this mindset will only set you back in your progress.
Instead, take this time to write down the advantages of breaking up with your special someone.
Don’t be afraid to be petty.
You can write something like, “I don’t have to pretend that I like his cooking,” or “I don’t need to move out of the city cause it’s the lifestyle he wanted.”
Remembering all the unfavorable traits of your ex also helps.
You may also list down all their annoying traits to soften the blow of your heartbreak.
For instance, you could write, “He never cleaned up after himself” or “She always complained about my family.”
3. Don’t forget about your health
Even the most successful and motivated people can have a hard time getting back on their feet after getting their hearts broken.
This is because breaking up can damage your physical and mental health – literally.
Studies prove that those who are in relationships control each other’s biological rhythms. Considering this, breaking up can disrupt your sleep pattern, throw your body temperature out of whack, and even lead to appetite loss.
Suddenly, you can’t sleep properly, or your favorite seafood boil doesn’t have the same appeal it used to. Even going on your dream vacation will feel like a chore.
Since your body is dealing with ACTUAL stress, you must do everything you can to take care of it.
Exercise, sleep well, and surround yourself with people who support you. Following these tips will do wonders to bring back your brain chemistry to normal.
When you consciously make an effort to keep your mental and physical health in check, you’ll feel like yourself in no time.
4. Take a Tylenol
This article focuses on science-backed ways to deal with heartbreak so it makes complete sense for us to advise you to take a Tylenol.
When you go through a heartbreak, you’re not only dealing with emotional, but also physical pain (a.k.a. that piercing pain in your chest that never seems to go away).
One study has proven that pain relievers can serve as a buffer for this.
In a New York Times column about how Tylenol can help you mend your broken heart, it was mentioned that when you deal with rejection, a signal is sent by your brain to your stomach and heart.
This makes the muscles of your digestive system contract, and it makes your airways constrict. It even slows down your heartbeat.
When you take painkillers, they interrupt this process and produce endorphins, which can make you feel better.
Take note that while Tylenol is proven to be effective in helping you deal with heartbreak, it isn’t a permanent solution. If you’re planning to use it, make sure you don’t exceed the maximum dosage.
5. Think about your heartbreak differently
When you’re in a relationship, your life is shared with your partner. So when it ends, you’re left without the other main character in your story.
It’s easy to have the mindset that you’re now nothing, but this is actually the moment you can start developing yourself.
Taking the time to think about the breakup from another person’s point of view can be extremely cathartic.
In fact, studies prove that when you think about your heartbreak from a first-person perspective, you increase your chances of ruminating over negative emotions.
Thinking about it from a third-person’s point of view will help you rationalize your experience. Not only that, but it will also help you decrease your likelihood of experiencing high blood pressure.
6. Stop stalking your ex
Admittedly, this is one of the hardest tips on how to deal with marriage separation or breakups in general.
After all, it’s so tempting to look at your ex’s Instagram and peek at his Facebook profile 10 times a day.
Being exposed to your ex through social media, particularly Facebook can hamper your ability to move on, according to one study.
If you don’t want to prolong your heartbreak, you have to exercise control of your impulse to stalk your ex. Or better yet, completely delete your ex from social media.
Sometimes, it’s best to delete the cause of your heartbreak from your life, at least until you’re fully healed from it.
7. Distract yourself
In one study where researchers tested people’s cognitive strategies when dealing with a breakup, it was found that one of the best things you can do is to distract yourself.
As much as you can, think about positive things that are not related to your ex. This can be an activity, food, or anything to distract you.
Use this time to learn new skills, adopt a new hobby, or even join an online course.
8. Think about your future relationship
Another way to get over heartbreak is to imagine a dating scenario in the future.
What qualities would you like your future partner to have? What would the relationship be like? These are just some of the questions you can answer in your head.
If you think you’re finally in the right headspace to meet someone new, then do it. Surprisingly, rebounds can help you deal with heartbreak.
As a matter of fact, when you open yourself up to new things, it makes you feel more confident about yourself. Eventually, this will enable you to let go of the past
While rebounding can surely help with your self-esteem and confidence, make sure to exercise caution.
This tip doesn’t mean we’re asking you to download dating apps a few hours after your breakup.
Instead, it’s best to give yourself time to grieve. Then, depending on how you feel, you can slowly test the waters again.
9. Listen to sad songs
There’s nothing quite like listening to sad songs while dealing with heartbreak. Surprisingly, listening to sad songs on repeat can help you get over your negative emotions, according to science.
This is because music can be a form of therapy, and sad music can provide you with much-needed comfort.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, sad music can be extremely enjoyable, and this can lead to mood improvement.
Turning up your favorite sad album is a good place to start, or you could look up playlists on Spotify.
When you listen to sad music, you’re able to process the emotions you’re feeling in a unique way.
Rather than keeping them bottled up, you can be honest about your heartbreak as you continue to move on.
10. Just fake it till you make it
In most cases, dealing with heartbreak successfully only just takes mind over matter. One study proved that doing something that makes you feel like you’re healing your heart can actually help you feel better.
It’s not that you want to actually force yourself to get over your heartbreak. You just want to trick your brain into thinking you’re okay.
If you don’t yet feel ready to move on, try doing things that will help you heal your broken heart. You can take a dance class, or even just call up a friend for a chat.
Once you’ve got a chance to do something that makes you feel better, you’ll feel better.
Bonus tip:
As corny as it may seem, moving on from heartbreak does take time. This is why you can’t expect yourself to feel 100% happy with yourself in just a few days.
While it may be difficult now, you will eventually learn how to move on from your heartbreak completely.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
According to one study, most people are able to mend their broken hearts in 11 weeks.
Eventually, you’ll be able to move on and your heartbreak will seem like a distant memory. One day, you’ll look back and realize that you’re completely okay.
Ready to apply these tips in your life?
Big or small, heartbreak can affect us in many ways. But now is the time to move forward.
From writing down your ex’s bad traits to listening to Adele, there are countless ways to get over your heartbreak.
At the end of the day, the best way to do this is to be honest about how you feel. Don’t be afraid to tell yourself that you’re having a bad day.
It’s okay to cry, yell, or even throw a temper tantrum in your bedroom. Don’t rush your recovery, as the heart heals slowly.
